R.I.P Grandpa/ Happy Birthday Brianna

What an eventful week we've had! While we got to celebrate Brianna turning one year old, I had to say goodbye to someone very dear to my heart. On Aug. 1st  my Grandpa passed away while under the care of hospice. It seems like this all came out of no where. My Grandpa battled CHF for a long time. Years!! He was always in and out of the hospital but managed to live a good life. My cousin and I were his babies. Almost every good childhood memory I have involves my Grandpa. This is all so bitter/sweet. I'm so happy he's in a better place but so sad he won't be here with us any more. I know I'll see him again one day but it won't be for a loooong while (God willing). The hardest part was that he was still all there in the head. He knew everything that was going on. He wanted to keep fighting. It must be so hard to have the mind of a fighter and want to keep going but your body just won't allow it. Once his body went into multi-system failure, he decided to go with hospice. They pretty much drugged him up so he didn't really know what was going on anymore. They predicted he would have died the same day hospice took over but would you believe that man lived 2 days taking 4-6 breaths.  At the end, we were all     hoping he would just go and meet his maker. Philipe and I say he had a lot of negotiating to do. That's why it took him so long. I don't really know how to feel about this whole thing. I think I still might be in shock. And, I'm really pissed the it all ended. People were fighting about his will before he was even gone, right next to his bed side. My cousin, who visited him almost daily and listened to him complain all the time, was made out to be some kind of monster, and no one was told he even died so there were only 6 people at his funeral. My Grandpa was a great man and was friends with more people than I will probably ever know in my life time. It should have panned out differently. Oh.... and he said part of the reason he didn't feel like he could die peacefully was because he was worried about all of his animals. He said the only way he could go on peacefully was if Philipe and I were to take his 4 dogs and 1 bird. He knew we would do what was best for them. Well, today I called his girlfriend to make arrangements to get them and she informed me she got rid of them all. I'm pissed! Don't get me wrong....it's a lot let stress we have to deal with but this was one of my Grandpa's wishes on his death bed. Some nerve. I feel like his animals were my responsibility, given to me by my Grandpa and now I'm letting him down. I know this isn't rational but it's how I'm feeling.

Brianna turned 1 on the 3rd (2 days after Grandpa died). Her birthday was wonderful! I was useless the entire day but Philipe did a good job at pulling it off. Thank God for my in-laws and mommy group friends....AHEM...Michelle and Amy. They're amazing. We had a pool party at the in-laws and about 70 people came. Brianna was a bit overwhelmed but loosened up towards the end. Brianna got more toys than we have room for. LOL! And of course her favorite part was the tissue paper and boxes. I just can't believe my baby is a year old. Brianna was born at 9:02 a.m. so the whole morning of her birthday was kept looking at the clock and tried to remember what we were doing on that day 1 year ago. It was fun. Especially when Philipe said, "this time last year Brianna's head was crowning". At 9:02 She came out and they place her on my chest. I must admit I got a little choked up, but then it was back to worrying about party planning. I'll have to post some pics of her Bday. It was really nice. Just wish Grandpa could have been there.

On to other news... last night Philipe gave Brianna the heimlich. She was choking on a piece of a plum. Usually she's able to cough it up but this time it wouldn't budge. She was in the highchair which is right next to the kitchen. Philipe was in there cooking stir fry and saw her. When her face started turning purple he ran over, very calmly and took her out of her high chair, flung her over his arm and patted her back 3 times. A little piece of plum came flying out of her mouth. I was impressed! She cried a little and then wanted more plum. LOL. They get over things so quickly.

Yesterday Brianna went to Dr. Punger for her 1 year appontment. She weighed 22.5 & 1/2 lbs. She weighed more at her last appointment but she's sick right now and hasn't had much of an appetite for solids. She waked up coughing all night and her nose is running like a faucet. I feel so bad for her. Poor baby!