Sunday, July 19, 2009

First, I'm gonna cry....

This morning I told Bri she needed to put her panties on. She told me she didn't know where they were so I went to show her they were in her top drawer. Immediately, she started running towards me saying, "Bri Bri do it, Bri Bri do it!!!"  So proud of her new found independence, I said "okay", stepped aside, and asked her to show me how she does it all by herself. She was so excited, she slammed her finger in the drawer. She screamed bloody murder. I quickly put the baby down on her bed so I could comfort her. Then, the baby started crying. Lainey was just going to have to wait one second while I tended to Brianna's boo boo'ed finger. The whole time I was holding her she kept trying to get down and was pushing away from me. She calmed down just enough to cry, "Mama, get Sissy". Ugh.... I love that little girl. She just slammed her finger in her drawer but still insisted that I comfort her baby sister. She is going to be such a good little Mommy one day. She walked out to the living room to sit in her beloved "red chair". She was still crying but not as bad and would stop for a second to see what Diego was saying on TV. I asked her if she was okay and then told her we still needed to get her panties on. She looked at me with all seriousness and said, "Mama, first I'm gonna cry. Then, I'm gonna get panties." I tried not to laugh out loud and respect her wishes.....

Monday, July 13, 2009

what the heck!?!!

Who gets their period 8 weeks after having a baby?????..... I DO! Ugh! I just don't get it! I breastfeed ALL DAY LONG, no pacifiers, and I pump for a friend who has low milk supply issues. I AM NOT SUPPOSE TO GET MY PERIOD! Damn it man! So much for breastfeeding being my birth control method. I'm fertile mertil again....  I think I would go crazy if I got pregnant right now.

On a happier note.... here's some pictures...

This picture cracks me up!

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Our Birth Story...

First of all, let me start by telling you how retarded I think due dates are when it comes to pregnancy. I never thought I would go "late" , after all Bri was 6 days early and she was my first baby. Typically a woman goes into labor earlier the more children she has. Or so that's what everyone says. Wrong! 

Once I went past 41 weeks, Alanna, my midwife, told me if I went past 42 weeks she would no longer be able to care for me. I understood because I knew it was all for liability purposes and the chances of me being pregnant that long were slim to none. Ha! At my 40 week appointment we were pretty confident I would go into labor any second. I had been having good contractions for some time and we just assumed I was one step ahead of the game and maybe I was dilating from all the contractions and my cervix would be ripe. I asked Alanna to check my cervix at that appointment. She could barely reach it and said I was only a fingertip dilated and maybe 50% effaced. I was bummed! I for sure thought those contractions were opening the way for my baby to come out. We wondered if we should try inductions techniques we did with Brianna (black and blue cohosh and castor oil) but decided we really wanted this baby to come out on her own terms. 

That week my contractions strengthened. At one point I even called Alanna and told her they had been 10 mintues apart for 3 hours. We planned on me eating a big supper and getting a good nights rest and hopefully the next day we would all be welcoming our new baby into the world. When I went to bed my contractions stopped but I thought they were pretty good ones so maybe they helped dilate me. 

Alanna checked me again at my 41 week appointment (Monday) and there was no change. It was almost harder for her to reach my cervix. I was by myself and tried to hold it together in her office, unsuccessfully. We had to make an appointment for me to get a BPP ultrasound to make sure the baby was still safe and helathy and we talked about what would happen if I didn't have the baby by Sunday (Week 42).  I had 7 days to get the baby out. Talk about stressed! Who makes these rules?!?!? Philipe and I decided to try some easier inductions methods. We tried having as much sex as possible and I starting inserting evening primrose oil capsules in my vagina. Alanna told me I could come see her everyday until the baby was born and maybe the sex and evening primrose oil would help and she would be able to reach my cervix a little better and stretch it. My ultrasound appointment was scheduled for Thursday so we decided we would go see her on Wednesday and Friday. If there was still no change by Friday we were going to result to castor oil again, which gives you such horrible diarrhea you end up having contractions. I tried really hard to stay busy and keep my mind off of the possibility of ending up in the hospital but everywhere I went people would ask me how far along I was and tell me I was crazy for not going to the hospital to get induced. I made an appointment for accupuncture on Wednesday to see if that would help. They guy seemed pretty confident 1 or 2 treatments would do the trick, as I had good "chi' (spelling?) flowing throughout my body. At first I thought it was all a hoax but everytime he messed with the needles the baby would go nuts and I had some strong contractions in his office. I also almost passed out so they had to take all the needles out and start over. LOL! (Looking back now I think it's all hilarious) I made an appointment for 4:40 the next day. I would go right after my ultrasound. During my appontment Alanna called me and told me she spoke to another local midwife who wouldn't mind if I stopped by her house on Thursday and maybe she would have a little better luck at reaching my cervix (Alanna is tiny and has the smallest hands I have ever seen). I called the other midwife (I don't know if she would want to be named on my blog, so I won't) and we made arrangements for me to come to her house in the morning. So.... I had to meet her at 9:30 in the morning 2 towns south of us, had an ultrasound at 2:40 back in Ft. Pierce, and an accupuncture appointment at 4:40 in PSL. I was desperate! I dreaded going to the hospital on Sunday and I feared how they would treat me.

Thank goodness I met with her in the morning and not after running roud from town to town. When we got there she told me the baby still looked really high and it didn't even look like I was ready to go into labor.  She understood how afraid I was of going past Sunday and not having Alana as my midwife so she was game for trying to work her magic. She told us she's also been refered to as "The Rotor Rooter". LOL! Perfect! That's just what I needed! It was really tough for her to reach my cervix and it hurt like hell! But.... she finally got it and said "are you ready?" I grabbed Philipe's and and squeezed with all my might. By the time she was done, I was 4 cm dilated! I was so excited and nervous at the same time. I felt like we needed to get home ASAP. On the way home I had a few contractions. At one point I was on the phone and had to get off to concentrate. Philipe and I looked at each other like 'could today be the day?'. 

By the time we got home (around noon) I was having pretty regular contractions. I was excited but wasn't sure it was the real thing. We knew it was going to happen either that day or the next so Philipe, me and my mom (who had been watching Brianna) all started cleaning like crazy. It was pretty funny. I still planned on going to my ultrasound appointment at 2:40 just to make sure the baby was in good position (there was a brief second when the midwife thought the baby could be breach but then said she took it back after she felt a pulse on the baby's head). As I was cleaning I found myself dropping to my knees with each contraction, not because it hurt horribly but because it felt like that's just what my body was suppose to do. The birthing ball was my best friend. I was pretty certain I was in labor and it wasn't going to magically stop like it had before. This was the real deal. I called Alana and told her I didn't think I would be anle to make it to my ultrasound appointment but I really wanted to try and make it. She told me to wait an hour to see how I felt. The thought of leaving the house really scared me. I wanted soooo bad to labor at home and enjoy it. I couldn't imagine finding enjoyment while I lay on my back for an hour so they can do the ultrasound and being strapped to monitors, then having to ride in the car back home. An hour later my mom reminded me that I needed to decide if I was going to go get my ultrasound or not. I decided not to and thought it would be a good idea if Alana came over. She asked if she could take a shower and drop her kids off at the sitter. I told her not to rush; I was fine. Philipe made me lunch (steak sub) and I sat in my room on the birthing ball. I was so happy I was home and had such a good feeling about the way things were working out for me. Bri had been napping for a while so I was able to get settled and in the groove. Denise (who I've talked about beofore and also happens to be our family doc) heard the news that I was in labor and stopped by to send her love and get some pics. She knows how much I wanted pictures of this special occasion and was more than happy to click some shots. She loves taking pictures as much as I do. When she walked in I was laboring on the toilet. She showed Philipe little tricks that helped me through some of my contractions. Every contractions made me happier and happier as I knew I was one step closer to holding and nursing my new baby. My friend Michelle came over also. The first thing she did was make me a green smoothie. It was absolutely delicious and I'm sure I needed it for energy.

By the time Alanna got there my contractions were pretty strong and about 5-7 minutes apart. I kept going back and forth from the toilet to the birthing ball. I started getting some really mucousy discharge too, which made me even more excited. LOL. I think it was my mucous plug. It was really cool. I even took pictures of it (in between contractions) I never had any of this stuff with Brianna. Once Alanna got all my birthing supplies set up just she asked if I was opposed to her checking me. I was pretty excited and was sure I was in labor so I was kind of excited to see how far I progressed since that morning. After my contraction I tried to "hop" up on our bed (which is extremely high). I was hoping if I hurried maybe she could check me and I could get down and back on my knees before the next contraction. Fat chance! Those contractions I had while I was laying flat on my back were HORRIBLE! I don't know how I did it in the hospital with Brianna, laying in that crappy bed the whole time. Anywho.... Alanna told us that I was still only 4 cm. There was more though. While the other midwife was able to stretch my cervix to 4 cm, she was only able to stretch the outside. My interior cervix was still just a fingertip dilated  and the baby was still extremely high. I got a little panicked for a second. What if I was going to be stuck having these strong contractions for days because I was trying to kick my baby out before she was ready. Was I really in labor or was my body just mad at me for trying to rush the process? Alanna told me she would check me around 7:00 again and if I hadn't progressed anymore she might go home for a while. That made me freak out even more. I felt like I NEEDED her to be there. I see why people choose not to be checked at all. After she checked me I started to doubt my body. She told me to relax as much as possible and visualize the baby moving down. She also told me to try and wait to get in the tub because sometimes if you're starting to go into labor and you get in to early it can have an adverse affect.

Back to the bathroom I went. Everyone left me alone for a little while. Philipe kept coming in to check on me. My contractions got stronger and stronger with each one and I got more and more excited. Around this time I starting humming every time I had a contraction. When I was pregnant and practiced relaxation techniques humming seemed to be the most effective. I told Alanna (weeks before I went into labor) that I was going to "hum my baby" out, and by golly, that's pretty much how it happen. At one point Philipe suggested I try and get up off the toilet and go walk around. It took me a couple more contractions to finally do it but we were on a mission to go play with Brianna in her play room. On the way there I had to brace myself on the table, where Alana was sitting, and I remember telling her it was getting pretty intense and I wasn't as "happy go lucky" as I was when this all started. She reassured me that was a good thing. After a couple contractions I walked as fast as I could to the play room to try and beat the next surge. I made it. Bri was happy to see me, as I was to see her. I planned on hanging out with her for a little while longer but I couldn't find a comfortable position to be in when I had contractions. So, I gave her a kiss and went back to my refuge.... the bathroom. 

This time when we went back into the bathroom Philipe and Alanna set up a little area for me to sit on my birth ball. They lined it with chux pad and put it up against the ledge by the tub so I could lean against it.  I asked Philipe to set up my hypnobirthing recording on the iPod. He lit the lavender candles Jen brought to my blssingway ceremony and he and Alanna made sure I was settled and comfortable. This was all around 6:00 pm (from Alanna's notes... I really had no concept of time what so ever). The hypnobirthing tape was my life saver! I felt like it brought me back to where I needed to be and I was able to fully focus and relax. It's so funny because when I would listen to the recording when I was pregnant the lady's voice really started to annoy me and I highly doubted I would want to listen to her when I was in labor. Wouldn't you know, I made Philipe hit the replay button everytime it ended. While I was on the birthing ball it took all I had to relax with each contraction. I remember someone coming in and taking a couple pictures but it didn't bother me. Everyone stopped asking me questions and let me be. I was in the zone, and apparently it showed. 

I told Philipe and Alanna I was ready to get in the tub. I tried to hold out as long as possible but I couldn't take it anymore. Getting into the tub was heavenly. Philipe sat by my head and Alanna sat by my belly. They took turns feeding me a peanut butter and jelly sandwhich and giving me gatorade to drink. In between contractions she would pour water over me. It was wonderful! It was everything I wanted and more. Looking back, I was treated like a queen. Everyone listened to me and trusted what I was telling them. There wasn't anyone staring at that machine that records contractions, or straps around my belly. They just trusted what I said. A couple times I told Alanna I was scared and I didn't know if I could do it because I was so tired. She reasurred me everything was okay and reminded me that she had the same thoughts when she had her 2 kids. Maybe this is when I started going through transition??? My mom and Denise would pop in periodically to take pictures but they were very quiet so it didn't bother me to much. They both knew how bad I wanted pictures. At one point my mom came in to take a picture and the flash did some crazy thing. I looked at her and said, "okay, that's not gonna fly". Then, everyone stopped taking pictures. LOL. 

I was in the tub for about an hour. Alanna suggested I try to get out for a little bit to keep things moving. It probably took a good 20 mintues to get me out. It felt like my contractions were right on top of the other. Alanna asked Philipe to get me a robe. He did, but by the time they got me up I jetted for the toilet, soaking wet. LOL. I couldn't get away from that thing. Around 8:00 I started laboring on the toilet. My contractions were super intense. Philipe sat in front of me and lent me his support. Just him being there, close to me, was all the support I needed. I didn't need someone holding my legs halfway behind my head telling me to push.  While he was sitting on the ground right in front of me my body pushed and my water broke. He got all excited, looked at me and said, "Oh! There goes your water!", as if I didn't know. LOL! He ran to tell Alanna, who was in the other room at the time. When he came back he tried to give me a high five. LOL. That's what we did when I was in the hospital in labor with Bri so I guess he wanted to make it a sort of tradition thing. I didn't have enough energy to spare to put any effort into it so I just flipped my hand over and he smacked it. The tradition lives on. He also talked about how he forgot that part was suppose to happen. I couldn't talk to tell him, but I forgot the whole water breaking thing too. As intense as it all was I wonder why I never thought 'when the heck is my water going to break'. I think I was just so focused on relaxing through each contraction, it totally slipped my mind. 

Alanna came walking in the room with her handy flashlight. She looked in the toilet and assured me that my water was "perfect". I was really worried that there was going to be meconium since I was "over due" but that wasn't the case. It was "perfect"! I remember thinking it was kind of weird that my body pushed when my water broke. That didn't happen with Bri either. I had two more normal contractions and then I started push. Alanna never checked me again so she really had no clue how fast I was progressing. She still needed to call her assistant, who was about 30 minutes south of us. I felt like I had the urge to push again but I tried to fight it. I didn't want to be stuck pushing for 2 & 1/2 hours again. And once ya start, ya can't stop. Plus, I thought I still had a ways to go before I would meet my baby and I had this whole idea of "breathing" her out I got from the hypno-birthing tape. Things were going way to smooth for her to just come out now. The rest happened soooo fast (literally, not just because I was caught up in labor land), but I remember it perfectly. 

There was nothing I could do to stop my body from pushing. It was taking over. It was the coolest thing ever! It just did it... all by itself. I mumbled as fast as I could, "I'm pushing", before the next surge came. I don't know if Alanna heard me or not but Philipe repeated me just to make sure. Alanna got up and called her assistant to tell her she might want to hurry because I was having the urge to push. By the time she came back to me, still on the toilet, Lainey was crowning. She took a peak with her flashlight, saw a head, and told Philipe they had to get me off the toilet NOW. She was totally calm the whole time too (but working very quickly). It's so funny cause every time they suggested I walk around or switch positions they gave me a few minutes/ contractions to get prepared. This time, they just grabbed me and told me they were moving me to the birthing stool. This baby was coming out, quickly. Alanna assistant still wasn't there. She was 30 minutes away and it was only 10 minutes ago that she called her. Alanna asked Philipe to open the door. He did. She hollered, "Denise, if you're out there, I could really use you." Philipe ran to the door to relay the message a little louder. I had another contraction and Denise (Dr. Punger) came walking in (camera in hand, of course). This part cracks me up.... She hurried to the sink, washed her hands, and then stood back and started taking pictures. LOL. Some help she was to Alanna. LOL. I'm so glad though. It was so important to me that someone was able to capture my babies entrance into the world so we could look back years from now and remember how special that day was. Denise knew that. So, she did exactly what she knew I wanted her there for (and for her positive support). I will be forever grateful. So, Alann'a supporting my vagina (to try to keep me from tearing) and Denise is taking pictures. Alanna tells Philipe if he wants to catch the baby he better hurry up. He asked if he should gloves on.... LOL. I think he was so excited an not thinking. LOL. He remembered Alanna saying she uses sterile gloves once my water breaks to prevent infection and I guess he was just looking out for me. That's my man! She told him there wasn't enough time to put gloves on. He ran to the sink, washed his hands, and got back just in time. Lainey was out with the next contraction. She was born at 9:13 pm, into her Daddy's hands. Her coming out of my body was the best feeling in the whole world. Philipe being the one to hand her to me was even better than that! She was BEAUTIFUL! She was all glossy and didn't have one drop of blood on her. She was looking all around before she even took her first breath. Alanna told me to talk to my baby and as soon as I did she took a breath. It was beautiful! I was sobbing like a baby. I kept saying, "I did it!, I did it!" Then I looked at Philipe and said, "You did it! You did it! You caught her!" Then, we both kept saying "We did it. We did it." It was great! The first thing Philipe did was unsnapped my bra. This is something that will remind me how wonderful a man my husband is for the rest of my life. He knew how important it was for me to nurse her right away and how I was looking forward to it that as soon as he handed her to me he then unsnapped my bra. I love that man! Alanna showed us the cord. I was kind of bummed cause I never got to see it pulsate. That wasn't even an option with Brianna and I was looking forward to it this time. As soon as the baby came out the cord stopped pulsating. Bummer. I did get to touch it this time though. It was pretty cool. 3 minutes after she was born Philipe cut the cord. 

As soon as everyone heard the baby cry they came in the room. They were waiting up against the door so it almost feels like they were in there the entire time. Michelle started video taping right away and my mom was taking pictures. I think my Mother in law kind of stood back and took it all in. A couple minutes later Bella, Alanna's assitant, walked in the room. LOL. She missed it by minutes. When Philipe and I watched the video the next day we laughed. There was me telling everyone we did it, then me telling the midwife how much I love her and giving her a kiss, then me being dead serious asking, "Did I poop?" LOL! Ughh... I wish I could explain how I felt in that moment. Total euphoria! It was amazing! Alanna then told me I had to deliver my placenta. I forgot all about that part too. This was my biggest fear. With Brianna, they started discussing having to put me to sleep and some sort of surgery to go get my placenta because it wouldn't come out. Alanna told me in the beginning she didn't think it would be an issue. She was right. I tried to push once and nothing happened (but I probably wasn't even pushing. After pushing the baby out I couldn't really push anymore for some reason). I asked her to give me a minute and I would try again. She said, "Sure". I loved on my baby some more. And 5 minutes after I had her, I delivered the placenta. I told Alanna a while ago (at a prenatal appointment) that I wanted to see my placenta up close and touch it. I wanted to feel what the baby felt for 10 months inside me but I never did. I just couldn't put my baby down. I was soaking her new sweet baby smell in and loved every second of it!  After I delivered the placenta Lainey and I got in the tub, which was still full of warm water from before. We hung out in there while everyone got everything situated so we could walk to our bed with out making a bloody mess all over the carpet. After seeing the tub was full of blood I really wanted to rinse off in the shower. I had all intentions of bringing the baby in there with me. LOL. I didn't want to part with her. Philipe and Alanna told me it be best if I gave the baby to Philipe while I rinsed off. I was so weak I felt like my legs were going to give out but I had a burst of energy all in the same time. It was pretty cool. I had the shakes like crazy though. So, I handed Lainey to her Daddy and rinsed off quickly. When I was done I followed the trail of chux pads back to the bed. As soon as I got in bed Philipe handed Lainey back to me and I nursed her again. Everyone left the room and Alanna checked to see how things were looking down below ;) . I wondered how many stitches I would need and how bad it would hurt getting them. I was more nervous about getting a shot on my vagina then pushing a baby out of it. Her and her assistant assessed the damage.... NOT EVEN A LITTLE TEAR! Woo- hoo!!! Keep that needle away from me, thank you very much! 

Alanna checked the baby out and made sure we both had a clean bill of health. Lainey weighed 8 lbs, 13 oz.; 22 in. long. She was perfect in every way! We were now a family of 4. I could not be anymore happy with the way things went. I am soooooo glad we decided to have Lainey at home. I am so grateful for Alanna. She was amazing and I really felt like I was in control the entire time. She always let us know that we had a choice in everything. That's the way it should be when a woman has a baby. It's sad that when you go to the hospital you're just another number and you have to follow someone else's protocol. 

What I thought was strange was that I didn't have any motherly intuition telling me to get off the toilet. If Alanna hadn't been there, I think I really would have pushed the baby out into the toilet. Is that horrible or what!?!?! I knew the baby's head was right there and I still just wanted to be comfortable on the toilet. 

Oh... I asked Alanna for a copy of her log that she keeps. 
Noon- Labor starts
1:00- Alanna gets to our house
4:00- Drank green smoothie, walking, toilet
5:00- More green smoothie, audible contractions
6:00- birthing ball, resting
7:00- contractions 3 min. apart, ate PB &J,  in tub
8:00- tub
8:30- drank gatorade, toilet
8:56- Water broke (clear)
9:00- gatorade
9:05- urge to push
9:13- delivered head and body
9:16- cut cord
9:20- delivered placenta.

Well, that's our birth story. It took me a month to write it, and I'm sure I'll remember more and want to add it later but I'm glad  I had such a wonderful experience I get to share. I am truly blessed and feel like the luckiest girl in the world.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

I'm still in the process of writing my birth story. I really want to make sure I write as much as possible so years from now I can read it and feel like I'm reliving the whole experience again. It's taking me forever though cause as soon as the baby falls asleep Brianna's begging me to play with her in the play room. So, it's still in the process.

Life here is pretty hectic. We're still trying to adjust to being a family of four. I had no idea how hard it would be. Brianna was a VERY "needy" baby. She screamed every waking hour and Philipe and I would have to take turns trying to soothe her. I thought for sure Lainey would be different since she was coming into the world in a more peaceful setting....WRONG! Oh.... she's a little pistol! I think it might bother her when I consume ay dairy so I have eliminated it from my diet. It seems to help a little bit. She doesn't arch her back in pain anymore but she still cries.... A LOT! Most of my day is spent nursing her or trying to figure out what position she wants to be in in our moby wrap. Thank heavens for that baby carrier. I don't know what I would do with out it. While the baby's fussiness can be extremely stressfull, I try to remember that it is only temporary and we are truly blessed to just have her in our lives.

Brianna is adjusting wonderfully! She loves her little sister and helps out a ton. Whenever she hears the baby cry she runs and tells me and Philipe that, "sissy needs Mama's milk!'. It's adorable. Since the baby was born Brianna has decided to start waking up 3-4 times a night. Hopefully, this will only be temporary.  She has also decided that she does not want to take showers with us anymore or let us give her a bath by herself. The only way we can get her to take a bath is if "Sissy" is in with her. Lainey is the cleanest 3 week old I know. LOL. 

I've been ECing Lainey for the last 2 weeks. It's going awesome! She goes almost every time we cue her and we've gotten pretty good at reading her cues when she needs to go. Philipe, who previously thought ECing was bizarre, thinks it's the coolest thing ever. He's even gotten her to pee once or twice. It's so cool to be able to communicate with my 3 week old!  I just love her to pieces. Now, if she could just communicate why she's so crabby all the time, we'd be golden! Oh well.

There's a ton more I want to write about but I don't really have the time. I'm determined to finish my birth story before the baby is a month old.

Much love to you all!

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Welcome to the world Lainey Nicole!!! Born into her daddy's hands comfortably at home.

8 lbs 13 oz,  
22 inches long

Story to come... stay tuned.

Monday, May 11, 2009

My Mother's Day

So, what do you do on Mother's Day when you're a week past your due date and it's beautiful outside? You put a bikini on and flaunt that sucker while bobbing in a kiddi pool with your daughter. Duh!!! 

While I would have loved to have had a new healthy baby to hold for Mother's Day, my day was perfect!!! Philipe worked 24 hours overtime the day before so he was exhausted. He came home with cards and presents and we all hung out for a while. He looked pitiful after only getting 5 hours sleep in 2 days (which is probably about equal to what I've had, but you know it's way worse for men) so I told him to go take a nap. Bri and I hung out outside for a while. My mom came over with a new kiddi pool and that's where we hung out for most of the day. It was perfect! Best Mother's Day ever! Enjoy some pics....

41 weeks of beautiful fullness! 

Bri checking out her new pool

Look, Ma... a net!


and again... just in case you didn't get it the first time ;)

Bri and Grandma, blowing bubbles

There's Mama!

a popsicle: perfect ending to some fun in the sun

followed by a nap cuddled up to Daddy

Once everyone woke up from their naps (Philipe got to take another nap...lucky dog) we went to my in-laws. We hung out at the Tiki and enjoyed some "Hurricanes" chicken wings for dinner. I was having pretty good contractions the whole time but of course they stopped. 

That was my Mother's Day. It was perfect and I feel so blessed to have such a wonderful family. I know it's a day to celebrate Mother's but I really felt I spent a lot of the day trying to appreciate Brianna and show her thanks for making me a mom. It's the best thing that's ever happened to me and she's made this whole journey amazing. I don't know how I lived so long with out her. I hope all you other mommies enjoyed your Mother's Day as much as I did.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

still here... still pregnant

I know I haven't posted in forever but I was hoping my next post would be announcing the birth of our new baby. That's not the case. I'm 2 days past my due date, still pregnant. What can I say?? My baby just isn't done cooking.  Stay tuned! 

Until then, I'm going to "try" and enjoy these last few days of pregnancy.

Thursday, April 9, 2009


I forgot to post this the other day. We went to Kids Adventure Zone the other day. It wasn't our first time going there but it was the first time Philipe got to go. I think he had more fun than Brianna did. It takes Brianna forever to loosen up. Enjoy!

I'm sure one day Bri will hate me for posting these pictures but I  think they're so darn cute. Brianna refuses to go poop on the big potty. She'll only go on the little one. Philipe thought if he gave her a Paula Dean magazine she's sit long enough to go. She sat for a good 10 minutes but no success. Oh well. At least I got some cute pics

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

After nap time

I'm so lucky I get to wake up to this beautiful smile!

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Ooops... forgot to post this on Fri.

Monday is my home visit with Alana, my midwife. I can't wait! It makes it all seem so real. Not that the baby constantly kicking me in my ribs and the fact that I can't catch a good breath isn't a constant reminder. But, this home visit is definitely kicking my butt into gear to get everything ready. We're pretty much ready for this baby's arrival. I got my birth kit the other day. So exciting! I ordered this cute little shirt too. Watch this baby come out a boy. grrrr....
The only other stuff I have to get is those huge maxi pads for afterwards and a 4 oz. bottle of olive oil. 

My dad is here this weekend working hard to get this bathroom ready for me. He's says he should be done by Monday. i wish the tile was all that needed to be finished. The contractor still has to come back to fix a bunch of stuff. Then, Philipe has to paint it. The tub is there so I really shouldn't complain but I was really hoping the bathroom would give me a sense of relaxation. I don't think that's going to happen. Oh well! As long as I have a healthy baby, I'll be happy.

The goats are gone and, surprisingly, I'm not sad. I made myself stop going out there to un-fall in love with them. My dogs are still not here though. I keep telling Philipe we need to go get them and he keeps giving me excuses that the area is not ready yet. 

We got a bedroom set the other day. It's getting delivered today. I'm not sure if I'll be here when it gets delivered. The ladies from my mommy group are throwing me a diaper shower (since I don't need anything but baby diapers). I can't wait! I'm sure it's going to be fun. I love my mommies!!! I know I've said it before but I'll say it again... I've got the best friends in the whole world. I'll have to post some pics later, along with pictures of my bedroom set and my bathroom. 

Oh... I got my composting bin from Sam's. $4o.00! Can't beat that! I never realized how much stuff we would normally throw away that could be put back into the Earth. Philipe's been awesome about making sure stuff that needs to be composted gets put in the pile. 

Bri has been going through something crazy lately. She's been tons of fun and we're really enjoying this age, but these tantrums are horrible! We can usually expect at least one a day. She's become quite the daddy's girl lately too. Like she prefers him over me. Breaks my heart! Maybe it's because I'm not as fun anymore. I can't move as quick as usual and I'm extremely tired all the time. She must sense that. Plus, I think Philipe has taken pity on me and has kicked it up a notch with helping out with Bri. He takes her outside a lot and they clean up the yard and she helps him with the fence. They go for rides on the Rhino and have tons of fun! It takes me 30 minutes to put my shoes on. LOL! Of course she wants to be with him.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Here's some pics of the goats.

This is the sweet one

This one is a jerk

Brianna, waiting for the goat to come eat her carrots.

I am so crazy about this kid! It's not even funny! I just love her to pieces. This morning Philipe went out back to work on the dog run. He's building a shelter the dogs can go under to escape the sun and the rain. He's so darn handy. Brianna kept begging to go outside so I got us dressed and out we went. Of course she had to go help her daddy for a bit and talk to the goats. I was on a mission to make them like me today.  I brought carrots with me. I tried so hard to get them to come eat out of my hand. No luck! Once I was in there for a while I felt comfortable letting Brianna come in. I really think I'm able to read animals. I think it's an extra sense I have. Anyone who knows me can tell you that. I don't trust the big one (let's call him Jerky) so I just made sure she didn't get close to him. I can tell the littler one is a sweet heart. He's just scared, shitless! Especially, cause Jerky's ramming a horn into his heiny every 2 seconds. Anyway... Brianna really wanted to try and give the goat a carrot. She started walking towards him and he saw she had a carrot. As he was walking towards Brianna I asked Philipe if he thought I should be worried. He said yes and before I could even get up to monitor the situation they were pals. He was eating the carrot out of her hand and standing right next to her while he chewed it up. i stood up to give her some more and he got spooked and ran. I had been trying all morning to be buddies with this little guy! I got really excited and ran and got the camera which spooked him even more and he wouldn't play with Bri anymore. Oh well. This was all the footage I was able to get.

LATER..... I have tons of updates on the goats. We're all the best of pals! The little guy runs up to the gate when he sees me. Then he rubs up against me till I pet him. I'll have to tell you all about it tomorrow. Grey's Anatomy is on and I can't focus on 2 things at once. Tootles!

Wednesday, March 25, 2009


I've got 2 goats in my backyard right now and I'm loving it! A friend of ours picked up some goats that some people had as pets but couldn't afford anymore. Philipe helped him out and they decided to put the 2 of the goats in the dog run so they could clear out the brush for us. They're super cute!!! Bri likes to try and feed them carrots (I hope it's safe to give goats carrots), but they seem really shook up so they just run from us. They seem to come closest to Brianna when she offers them food. I'm not to sure if it's cause they like her or they want to ram her with their horns. They just got here today so I figured I'd give them a day to adjust before I try to befriend them. They're both neutered males. One is a year old and the other one is four. It's obvious the older one is in charge. Anytime the little dude gets close to him he rams him. Bully! I hope he doesn't try to do that to me tomorrow.

I started going through all Bri's clothes today and unpacking newborn clothes. It got me really excited! If anyone buys this baby any clothes I think I'll murder them. LOL. There are so many clothes that Brianna never even wore. I can't wait to dress me new little bambino! I've been having a ton of contractions lately. It's starting to get a little uncomfortable. They don't hurt so much, but I'll be in the middle of doing something and I'll feel my uterus get hard as a rock and it makes it a little difficult to do things. I had a lot of contractions when I was pregnant with Brianna too so I'm not to worried. My midwife told me you usually have more braxton hix with every pregnancy. That means I'm ahead of the game. My uterus is already preparing for delivery. Woo hoo! Maybe this baby will slide on out. LOL! Wishful thinking. I know this sounds crazy but I kind of hope I don't have a super quick labor. I want to savor this whole experience. Especially the part where my baby is getting ready to enter the world. I was in labor with Brianna for about 12 hours. That seemed perfect. Looking back on it, it seems like it was a matter of minutes. 

I'm on a blogging roll here! Maybe you'll hear more from me tomorrow ;)

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

"Big pee pee" on the potty... alas

Right after I posted my blog the other day something BIG happen! Brianna pooped on the potty! This is huge! It's no secret that when we're home Bri is usually bottomless. It's the only way she'll pee on the potty. I can usually tell when she has to poo cause she'll come and tell me she has to go pee pee while holding her butt. I'll tell her to go on the big girl potty. She'll say, "Oh" (like she totally forgot) and go sit on it, let out a fart and say, "noooooo". She then gets up holding her but telling me she has to go "big pee pee" but won't try to sit on the potty again. I usually put a diaper on her at this point cause I'm afraid she's going to get all backed up or something. LOL. I knew the only way she was going to make the connection was if she pooped on the floor and I made a big deal about how it's suppose to go in the potty. So..... I had to bite the bullet and just let her poop on the floor. The other day she was playing in her play room and started freaking out, screaming, "Momma, help me!" I knew what had happened, I just hoped it didn't happen on the brand new carpet. It did! It was a mess! I explained to her that we go poop on the potty and it seemed like she understood. The next day she ran to the potty holding her butt saying, "pee pee' but didn't make it quick enough and it hit the floor about a foot in front of her potty. The next day was a success!!! It was right after my last post. I was chatting with Laura and Brianna ran by us, holding her but saying, "big pee pee". She sat on her potty and pushed for a couple seconds (to much detail?) and out plopped the biggest turd! I was so happy I almost cried. She didn't want to get up though. It was like she was afraid to see what she just did. I stood her up to wipe her butt and showed her that she put her poop in the potty and she got all freaked out. I think she thought the thing was going to come alive and beat her up. I don't know. After I flushed it she ran up to me with a big smile and said, "Good girl, big pee pee!".  I can't believe she finally did it. All by herself. I'm one proud momma!

Philipe and I have been talking a lot about our garden we plan to start once the babies born and we're all situated. I can't wait! I have lots of research to do. I have so many plans for our 1 acre! LOL. Once we've got our garden in order, I plan on getting some chickens too. I can't wait. I remember growing up on my grandpas farm and looking forward to the morning so we could go find eggs. It was like Easter, everyday! I want that for my kids! I also want them to learn where their food comes from. I think it will be a great experience for everyone in our family, and we'll have yummy eggs to eat and know exactly where they came from. At first, I didn't think Philipe would be on board but I think he's taking it in. I've been reading a lot about raising chickens and following a few blogs of people who have decided to add chickens to their lives. I can't wait to build my coop! 

Yesterday morning Philipe, Brianna, and I were all laying in bed. The baby was going nuts so Philipe had his hand on my belly and was making loud, "Wow's" and "Holy Cows". This got Brianna really intrigued. She always kisses and rubs my belly but she never wanted to feel it move. She kept her hand on my belly for a good 30 seconds and the baby started kicking. Her face was priceless when she felt it. Philipe and I couldn't stop laughing. And the louder we all got, the harder the baby would kick Bri's hand. She was so excited. Now, she'll come sit next to me and keep her hands on my belly until she feels the baby move. She loves it. My computer still isn't recognizing my camera but I took some pics of her with my lap top.
Brianna thinks my belly makes a nice arm rest

Waiting to feel sissy move

Kisses for the baby

And, I'll end with a video of Bri doing her letters. 

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Loving life on Silver Oak Dr.

The fact that there's SO MUCH going on in my life right now makes me not want to blog. I don't even know where to start.... so I don't. Hence, why you haven't heard from me in a million years. My computer is not recognizing my camera either so I feel like blogging is no fun with no pictures. This post is probably going to take me a few days to write but I know I'll feel good once I write it. Here goes:

We moved on Saturday, March 7th. This just so happen to be the same day of one of our friends wedding, that we totally forgot about till the last minute, and the day of our priest's funneral. The one who married us and baptized Brianna. Yup. I still feel like crap for missing it but that was the only time we had to move and Philipe was determined. I have the best in-laws in the world. My 2 brother in laws were there to help and my MIL & FIL were at the old house first thing in the morning loading up their truck. My mom came over as soon as she got off work and cleaned our bathrooms for me. Our first night at the new house was weird. It kind of felt like we were camping or something. (Geee... I'm glad I decided to finally blog about this because I recall thinking this is crazy... I'll have to blog about it, but now I don't really remember how it felt.) I think I remember the second night being even more weird but I don't remember why. I do remember Brianna having a couple huge melt downs... like I've never seen before. It must have been really hard watching everyone take her toys from underneath her. It was obvious the move was emotionally draining on her... on all of us!

On Sunday Jen and her crew (family) came over and helped. She unpacked boxes while I looked around wondering what the heck were we thinking for moving right now. Her hubby, Dave, and Philipe went and got a ton of stuff out of our old garage. I know I've said it before, but I'll say it again... I have the best friends a girl could ever ask for. 

I stared at boxes for the next 2 days and pretty much freaked out. I probably went through a bottle of Rescue Remedy. Poor Philipe. When I get super stressed out Philipe is like my security blanket. He's such a wonderful husband. There was so much he needed to be doing but he kept telling me he couldn't do anything when I was all anxiety stricken. I love that man!

So... we've been here 2 weeks and I love it! My dad finished the tile throughout the house and is now working on our bathroom. We finally got our toilet in our master bathroom put in. That was a huge relief because the other bathroom is clear across the house and being 8 months pregnant, having to pee every 2 hours, became quite a pain in the rear. The bathroom looks awesome! I can't wait till it's finished and we can all take showers together. Brianna is going to go nuts with 2 shower heads. She won't push me out of the way anymore. I'm not even sure she'll want to shower with me anymore after taking baths in the "big bath" every night. 

Another something new... I've been a cooking machine! Maybe it's my way of nesting since all the baby stuff is still in the attic at the old house. Philipe doesn't know what to do with himself, having home cooked meals every night. We were the master order outers (I know that's not a word). We also wasted A LOT of money when we were suppose to be saving. I hope I keep this up after the baby comes (With a short break for my 2 weeks of baby-mooning in bed...I'll explain more later). 

I don't know if I've said anything about my friend Christina and her boyfriend, Steven, buying a house down the road before. Well... my friend (who until recently I probably would have just considered an aquaintance), that I went to middle and high school with just bought a house down the road. 1.5 miles to be exact. Oh...she started a blog to. Check it out, Sweet Home Silver Oak. Anywho, having them down the street has been a real treat for me. I have a feeling we're going to be friends for a LONG time now. Brianna really loves her too. I'm sure the fact that they have a pretty cool dog helps. Christina introduced me to Paula Dean (not personally) and she and I have become pretty good friends too. Thanks Christina! Steven and Christina remind me so much of me and Philipe, pre marriage and baby. I can't wait to see how things unfold for them. 

Hmmm..... Brianna's been a real tropper in the heat of all the action (minus the 2 horrible tantrums that almost made me want to bring her to the hospital because I seriously thought something was wrong). I'm pretty sure she's getting her 2 year molars cause she's been waking up a few times in the middle of the night. She loves to run up and rub my belly and tell me all about Sissy. She's talking in broken sentences now, which is crazy and I love it all at the same time.  Oh... I never blogged about it but a few weeks ago (old house) we were in the shower and Bri kept staring at my boobs. Maybe cause my nipples are darker???? LOL. Anyways, I pointed to them and said, "Brianna, what is that?" She looked at me and said, "Sissy milk". I couldn't believe it! I asked her again the next day and she said the same thing. Philipe's mouth almost hit the floor. My kid is a genius! She really understands that theirs a baby in my belly. And she remembers where she got her milk from. I can't believe at 18 months old, she was able to put the 2 together. Crazy!!! 

Hmmm.... Philipe has been working on the house like a maniac. I feel like I never get to see him. I can't wait all the work is done. I have a feeling he is going to find more projects for a LONG time. The poor guy is so beat at the end of the day. I hope he takes a little breather when the baby comes and realizes I'm going to really need his help.

The other day he was outside painting fence posts and he called me and said there was a cocktail on our roof. I'm know for catching animals so I said I'd be right out. As I opened the door, he came walking towards me with a bird in his hand. He caught the little bugger. It was the sweetest little bird. Bri loved holding it and petting it. I called my mother in law and she came and got it. It is now pals with her other cockatiel (the one I caught a few years ago).

Pregnancy is going great! I'm 33 weeks. It's going by so fast! Starting to get a little uncomfortable but nothing to bad. My biggest complaint would be my hips and it's getting hard to breathe. All normal stuff. I can't wait to meet my little baby. I get so excited I can't sleep at night. I wonder how the birth is going to play out. Will I give birth in my tub or on my brand new carpet? LOL. Will it be in the middle of the night or during the day? Will Brianna be in a good mood and be part of it all or will she get freaked out and have to go somewhere with my MIL? I hope she's here. That would be awesome. I never screamed when I was in labor with her or anything crazy like that so I can't imagine her getting scared. I think the only thing that would bother her is that I wouldn't come to her when she called me like I normally do. And, she gets all worked up when we go to the midwife and Alanna checks my blood pressure. I can't imagine what she would think Alanna was doing to me when she pulls a baby from between my legs. Or, will I pull the baby up to my chest? I picture her being pretty hands off and from what I hear and what she says, she likes to be hands off. But in the heat of the moment I might want her to help me. The cool part is... I HAVE A CHOICE! These are just things I think about. We'll see how it goes. I don't have a set plan in mind so I won't be disappointed either way. As long as my birth goes smooth and my baby is healthy, I am happy!

I hope this wasn't to long and boring for you readers. I'll try to keep up with posting but there have been way more important things going on lately. It's slowly settling down though. My main goal is going to be enjoying time with my daughter while she's still the "only child". Lots of love to everyone and thanks to everyone who has helped make this move possible. 

Tuesday, February 3, 2009


Today, Philipe is starting to put some color on the walls at the new house. I can't wait to go over there and see it. There was so much work that had to be done to this house before we could start customizing it the way we like. We had to rip out all the flooring, peel wall paper (wall paper should be illegal), sand, patch, blah blah blah.... But, we finally get to start doing the fun stuff. Yesterday, we ordered flooring (some wood, some tile) and we ended up saving so much money that we went ahead and ordered granite for the counters. I can't wait to see it all in place!

We have been there everyday since our closing. Brianna has been such a trooper too! Philipe and I are both amazed. She now knows how to work a hammer ("hammi") and chisel. It's adorable. I put away some of her Christmas presents because we don't have room at this house for any more toys. I brought them over to the new house so most of the time she is playing with her fisher price 'My First Doll House'. There's a mommy, a daddy, and a baby plastic doll included. She likes to make them all go "pee pee" on the little potty it came with and puts them in the "bass" (bath) together. She runs around the house screaming at the top of her lungs with excitement, something she could never do in our tiny house. She has free range of the back yard and takes full advantage of it. She loves to go on the "weees" (swing) in the back yard but doesn't ever want to sit on it for to long cause there is so much more to explore. One of the first things I did was cleaned out the huge Roman bath tub. Brianna was the first to bathe in it. She really though she was in a pool. It was priceless. There are so many great memories in this home already. I really feel like it has brought our family closer together in a whole new way. Brianna has learned so much from being there and Philipe and I are both there to witness it. She's starting to talk in sentences now. There only 3 word sentences but she gets her point across. 

The last time Brianna nursed was the morning of the closing on the house. 1 week ago today. She wasn't wanting to nurse everyday anymore but I gave it to her whenever she asked. Most of the time it was at night, right before bed. Well, since we've been at the house so late every night she falls asleep in the car and I just transfer her. The last 2 nights we came back early and she was still awake. I told her it was time to go Night night and she put her arms up for me to hold her and let me put her down with out saying anything. She doesn't even care. I'm sure the fact that I was making absolutely no milk helped her make her decision. I'm just really happy with how it all worked out. She did this all by herself. I thought for sure she would nurse till she was 18. LOL! I always bring her in bed with me in the morning and she would usually scream if I didn't get my boob to her fast enough. Now, she curls up next to me in the morning, lays her head on my shoulder, and twiddles with my fingers. She gets mad if I try to turn over or move my fingers. She'll start yelling "inger, inger!" (finger). She lays there for an hour every morning too. I love it! It use to annoy me a little when she would nurse in the morning cause she would nurse for sooo long and I would be sooo uncomfortable. I love our mornings now! I desperately miss our nights though. I loved nursing her at night. It was such a wonderful way to put an end to the day. Lately, the last thing she's sees at night is the back of my head while I'm driving in between homes. That makes me sad. Philipe tells me not to worry. I'll have another baby to nurse here shortly. He's right. But I'll never be able to have that special connection with my first born again. Don't get me wrong, since she's weaned we've shared a different kind of special connection but nothing brings a mother and child closer than them being at the breast. I know if I tried I could get her to keep nursing but I see she's ready and I guess I'm ready too. 

Pregnancy is going great. Normal aches and pains. My back is killing me and it's getting really hard to sleep but I love the feeling of this little life inside me. Up till now my weight gain has been right on target but since we're renovating the new house we've been eating out a lot and my daily smoothies are a thing of the past. I think I had one this whole week. But, I am sipping on a yummy one right now as I type. Brianna has a cute green mustache kicking too. Love it! I really need to make a point to eat healthy and keep up all the good nutrition I've strived for this whole pregnancy. It's so hard when Dale's BBQ is right down the road though.

That's it for now. I probably will being M.I.A. a while longer but I'll try to keep everyone posted. Much love!!!

Sunday, January 25, 2009

A little catching up

I've abandoned my blog for a while now. We've been really busy with all this moving commotion. Our closing was suppose to be on the 21st but got pushed back to the 27th...TUESDAY! We are so excited!!!! Can't wait! It's going to be a little bitter sweet because we can't move in right away cause there is a lot that has to be done before we move in so Philipe will be MIA on his days off. Not having him around will probably stress me out, but I'm trying to see the light at the end of the tunnel. 

January has been a very eventful month. We know a lot of people who have lost loved ones and a lot of others who have brought new life into the world. Half the time, I don't know if I'm suppose to be happy or sad. 

Bri has been a ball of fire lately. I definitely think she's going through the terrible twos a little early. Everything thing is, "NO! No! NO!" And it's not just one "no", it's a whole crap load of whiney loud "No's!" If some one looks at her the wrong way she has a break down. At times it can be quite embarrassing. Philipe and I often find ourselves asking each other what we're suppose to do. Being a parent is really hard at times. The way you discipline your child affects them for the ret of their life.... what is the right thing to do??? Brianna has started pinching out of frustration lately. Like if it's time to leave and she's not ready she throws a fit. I'll end up picking her up and she'll scream and pinch me. While I want to beat her little heiny for hurting me, I know that would kind of send the wrong message. I try to see things from her point of view but sometimes I just can't find a way to communicate with her. Ugh! I wish they came with instruction manuals. 

My belly is getting quite large now. Shaving my legs this morning was quite a struggle and I came out of the shower feeling like I could use a nap. LOL! This baby beats the crap out of me! I don't remember Brianna's kicks ever hurting so bad. Sometimes the baby will kick me a certain way and I feel like my vagina is going to fall out (if that's even possible). And....I wouldn't change it for anything in the world! I just can't wait till she gets bigger and has less room to move around. Maybe she'll stay still a little bit longer. I can feel her get the hic-ups now too. It's so cute! Brianna likes to walk up to my belly, with out warning, lift my shirt and give her "sissy" a kiss. It's adorable! It's a little strange when we're in public though cause if I try to stop her from lifting my shirt she throws a fit. Of course she can't just talk to her and kiss her threw my shirt, she's got to share my belly with the world. My friend Jen just had her gorgeous baby, Annalea, at home with the same midwife we're using. Her story is beautiful and it makes me even more excited about us having this baby at home. Soon, I'll have a beautiful birth story of my own to share. Can't wait!

Here I am at 6 months: