I'm Home!

We got back from Jersey  Friday night. I've never been so happy to be home. I love my family to death but my trip sucked. First, let me start by saying Philipe and I got to the airport and hour and a half early so we decided to eat lunch and hopefully Brianna wouldn't be hungry on the flight. The lady at the restaurant ended up taking forever so we were crunched on time. They called my name over the intercom so Brianna and I were off and running. I begged everyone to let us skip them through security explaining that my flight was about to leave. They were all pretty understanding and I was pushed up to the front of the line. Or gate was at the very end of the airport. I was about to drop my bag so I stopped for a quick second to adjust my self. I took my hands off of the stroller for 2 seconds. We were on a declined walkway and the stroller starting rolling down the hill, with Brianna in it! I screamed and chased it. I finally caught up to it and we were off and running again. I was dripping sweat and everyone was looking at me like I was a fool. I finally got to the gate. They asked if I was Mrs. Chibas and began to open the door for me to board. Just as they opened the door the walkway to the plane started to retract. We missed our flight. I was out of breath and tears filled my eyes. The man was very good at calming me down and assured me we could find another flight. We had to wait 2 more hours for the next flight. No big deal? Yeah right! Brianna wanted to walk around and I couldn't chase her while keeping an eye on our baggage. She was miserable! The flight was horrible. I should have read the signs and not gone when we missed the flight. 

 I was suppose to be staying with my sister but they were in the process of moving and there were boxes everywhere so I ended up staying with my Grandmother most of the time. My 85 year old, very stuck in her ways, Grandmother. She criticized everything I did. She went off on me for still nursing Brianna and I finally told her that she really needs to just drop it cause I was getting sick of hearing it and she was really beginning to piss me off (I said it a lot nicer though). For some reason she thinks that me being tired is because I still breast feed my daughter. Of course it couldn't be because I'm in m first trimester of pregnancy! Whatever. She finally got the point and apologized and I felt really good about sticking up for myself and for Brianna. Brianna was really clingy and whined a lot. Every time she whined, I was instructed to feed her food. I told her that it was because she was in a strange place and was probably scared and didn't want to leave my side. I got the third degree on how it was my fault because I made her that way. Ugh! Nobody up there knows how Brianna really is. They've never come and visited her in her home where she's most comfortable. Brianna was super annoying though and I had no help. I thought I could do it by myself. I was sadly mistaken. It was so frustrating at times but then I would just feel bad for her. I was the one that took her out of her element. It wasn't her fault. As a result of Brianna being so out of her element and anxious, she wanted to nurse every 2 seconds (slight exaggeration but not by much). She started to lift up my shirt right in front of everyone, which for some reason made me feel really uncomfortable, and my nipples were so sore. I wasn't sure if it was from her being attached to my boobs or because I'm pregnant. I talked to Philipe and told him that when I got home I thought we should look into gentle ways of weaning her. Well, I ended up going to my sisters for a few days which was really rough too. There were boxes everywhere and I felt like we were constantly in the way. Brianna got worse and worse and I came to the conclusion that we were both home sick and decided to cut our trip short. My sister dropped us off at the air port. I was so nervous about the flight but so excited about going home. This time the flight was completely full so there was no open seats for Brianna to sit in. I had a window seat and she was on my lap. There was a man next to us and and woman next to him. I was extremely claustrophobic and was sure Brianna would feed off of my anxious energy. I took out 2 books I brought and thought once we were in the air I could grab my bag full of goodies for Brianna out of the over head compartment. Brianna was great for take off and I just kept reading her the 2 books I put aside. She was perfect! An angel! She calmed me down when I felt I was about to have a panic attack. She didn't even do her annoying loud noise she does when she gets aggravated. I was so proud. She didn't cry once. And, she was crammed on my lap the whole time up against a wall. I love my daughter. Maybe she knew we were going home. Oh- The whole nipple thing... they're fine. Back to normal. And Brianna's back to nursing 3 times a day instead of every 2 seconds. She's not pulling at my shirt anymore either. When she wants to nurse she just signs milk and it's granted. Agh, it's great to be home. The only thing that's missing is my husband. He made arrangements to go hang out with our friend in north Florida because he thought our trip would be longer. Normally, I would probably complain and tell him he doesn't understand what it's like to be with a baby 24/7 and he needs to give me a break but I really feel like Brianna and I bonded in a way we never have before after having only each other for the last week and a half. I thought I understood her completely but I was wrong. When I would get overwhelmed Philipe would tell Philipe to give me a breather. Well, I didn't have that option and we figured things out just wonderfully. So, while the trip sucked, it was really good for me and Brianna. She's been so happy since we got home. And I'm so happy she's so happy. This was a great lesson in parenting for me. Children are always changing and as a mother, I need to make sure I respect her needs and adjust as she gets older. There's always ways to improve our relationship and I need to always try to understand her better. I feel like a good Mother, and it feels great! Is that cocky? Philipe is coming home tomorrow. I miss him like crazy!!! Brianna does too. She'll bring me the phone and say, "Da-da". We call him (often) and she gets overjoyed. I love it!

I'm not feeling so sick anymore. I'm not that tired either. I'm 11 weeks pregnant. First trimester is almost over. It's going by so fast!